FASTING: Day 31 - Appearances

Left, is a photo of the Mormon temple in Orlando, Florida.  I remember the first time I saw it.  It was evening. and all along the roof top edges, light was shining up high into the sky, illuminating the steeple.  I didn't know at the time it was a temple and thought it was a Jewish synagogue instead.  Until seven years ago, I really thought the Mormons were born again Christians.  I now know that isn't true, but at the time, the beauty of this building touched my heart and I came back later in the week as the sun set to take photos of it. If you have any questions about Mormonism, I'd like to refer you to my friend Shelly Grimm's web site at http://www.lifeafter.org/ .  I love the Mormon people, as they are some of the finest people I have ever met.  But, they do not believe in the same Jesus we do, though they will say they do.

This temple reminds me of Isaiah 58, where the Pharisees are complaining to God because they have fasted and He is not answering their prayers.  He tells them that He is not pleased by their fast.  Though they look very religious, pure and holy, in fact they are not.  For as they are fasting for God to hear their cries, they are living in sin by treating others with disdain, deceit, unloving and doing wrong.  God says "Is this the fast I have called you to?"  He says that sarcastically.  Yes, I do think He spoke this way in His Word.  Maybe He really said "Give me a break, you evil guys!  Don't play games with me.  I know you are trying to look holy, but your hearts harbor greed, evil and hate.  You don't care about anything but looking good in front of others. Now, listen to what a REAL fast is about and what it will do.  Then you will know WHY I don't hear you!" 

I've had some negative responses to my fasting blog.  One person emailed to say that if I really wanted to please God, I would have done my fast in secret and not made a big deal of it.  She wasn't unkind about it and I think she really felt that way. I know there are verses that say when you fast, don't complain and look sad because you can't eat so others will feel sorry for you or think how holy you are.  I understand that.  I wanted to answer her here just in case others felt the same way.

I didn't want to talk about my fast to be honest.  I wasn't sure I was going to do one this long in the beginning.  I just knew that God had been tugging at my heart for a month to think about doing a much longer fast.  I kept praying and He kept talking to my heart about it.  As I stated in the beginning, it would have been alot easier for me to fast without telling anyone. In my opinion, anyway.  But, as I took that to God, I know He moved me to seek prayer support for my fast and that He wanted my fast to encourage others to do so as well.  Trust me, though I have been doing shorter fasts for over 30 years, I did not look forward to this 40 Day fast.......more specifically, I didn't look forward to failing at it. 

I believe I followed God when I started blogging my journey here.  I didn't do so in an attempt to say "Hey look how Godly Karen is......she's fasting 40 days....wow!"  No, I wanted to encourage others to join me, pray for me and cover my family in the blood of Christ as I did this because I knew the enemy would attack as God brought answers and deliverance.  And he has.  My daughter was in a hit and run accident in the second week.  She was fine and I believe the fasting is what spared her.  My son is making progress in his own journey of struggles and I see God doing a mighty work in Him though he has encountered new harrassments from the enemy.  One special young friend went through crisis and I am seeing God meet her need.  I believe there was power in praying for her because fasting breaks yokes the enemy puts on believers.  Another best female friend feels certain her career position is turning around and has had good news. This was something I was fasting for.  So many specific things have taken place that I have prayed for, while at the same time, some terrible blows and crisis have occured too.

Besides seeing very evident answers to things, God has done so much in me.  That is what I see was His real purpose.  I have failed in some ways in this fast, as a couple of times I had to eat something small but solid.  I felt so bad the other night I was concerned, so I made a few eggs.  It made me very sick.  I felt defeated over that until I prayed.  The Lord reminded me this fast is not about MY strength, MY success, or MY ability.  It's about depending on HIM.  I'm learning I can get back up and stand before Him, knowing He is not judging me. 

I've faced the old demon of rejection in my life.  I'm not through that one yet, but I'm making progress.  I've missed my husband during this month so much and have watched the enemy try to use that to divide us, but God has come in and brought peace and patience.  He's once more taught me that my worth is not in what I look like, the abilities I have, the possessions I own, or even in my faith.....be it large or small.........though those things may make me more effective, successful, or productive, they have nothing to do with my value.  My value to God is just in BEING ME.......yours is in being YOU.  And truthfully, what He looks for is obedient hearts.  Not talented ones.  Intelligent ones.  Beautiful ones.  Just obedient ones.  This is what He is looking for from all of us.

I know I am rambling.  I'm sorry.  He has given me some powerful messages during this fast. I'm in the process of writing them now. Tonight, I just wanted to remind myself and you, that whether we fast or don't fast......succeed or fail.....look great or look not so great......He couldn't love us more than He does now.  Yes, we may do things for Him and build His Kingdom, but we can't DO anything more for Him to love us more.  He just does................And because He loves us, we can love each other.  The world hated Him.  They will hate us too.  Don't be afraid.  He is with us and He has left us The Comforter.......the power of the Holy Spirit.....we are more than equipped.

Loving in Him,
Karen